A flickering flame in the wind

So not much has been going on the past few days, just the same ol' daily drag. Well, I did put my car up for sale, regrettably. But it's either that or, you know, starve. I like to think that's a pretty clear cut choice when those are your two options.

Last night I got this very weird sense of loneliness when I came home. I have no idea why, it's because the apartment was dark and empty, but that has always been the case. It's not like I was expecting someone to be here, no one has ever lived here with me.

Right. To find the silver lining in this depressing post so far, I've slowly started working towards the Youtube/livestream gig. Starting the livestream is only a matter of finding some time with friends to begin and the rest will slowly go its own way after that initial bump has happened.

Hopefully.

Roll to confirm

Cyberpunk, Cyberpunk, Cyberpunk.

I just had my first crack at it. Well, not even, just with a bare-bone character and a simple fighting exercise to get a feel for the system. It eyes a bit confusing at first, damage wise and such. Especially when you're used to D&D and everything being a D20 rather than a D10, but it definitely offers a lot of freedom and just the option to be... cool.

And everyone loves being cool, right? Of course you do.

If the feeling persists like it did during the session, then it'll quickly become one of my favorite things to play, that's for sure. With that in mind, I'll still hold off on actually making proper judgment on the game until I know how to play it properly. But first impressions are that it's awesome.

Pen & paper aside, today was otherwise pretty uneventful. Which is fine, that's why it's a Saturday, no need to cram it full with activities to begin with. So let's keep it that way and end this post there.

Driving on fumes

Where do I even begin with this? Geez. Well, to clear one thing up a bit, I do live in the Netherlands for the people who didn't know (Yeah, like anyone even reads this.) So in that regard, change your perspective a little bit, it's not as bad as it might be in your country!

With that semi-disclaimer out of the way, on to the story. Or post. Whatever.

As mentioned previously, (here) I've financially been struggling for about a year or so. And an oppertunity finally seemed to present itself, pretty much out of nowhere. I got a job offer as a driver, I was to drive around escort girls to customers and back. I was reluctant to take it, but I need bread on the table as much as the sun is bright. So I took it.

Now, of course, I wouldn't be writing here it all went peachy and dandy, right? Right. Turns out I've been had and dealt with a known-scammer. I never got paid a single cent and the whole 3 days only cost me money for gas and such. It's a fella who gets drivers to drive him around until he catches a girl who supposedly goes to a client, who doesn't exist, so he just takes her to dinner.

Except he doesn't.

He just bails during desert and leaves the poor girl(s) stranded there with the bill. And that's how he goes from meal ticket to meal ticket, pretty much. The cars provide him a warm and nice place instead of roaming the street and the girls are his meal ticket. It's disgusting if I'm being honest, but there are those people in the world as well.

Dark days

See? Keeping promises!

Anyhow, remember how I said I wouldn't do an all-in-one update? I lied.

Slightly.

I'm not going to chronoligically write everything down that happened the last two years, but I do want to mention a thing or two, at least. The lady and I aren't together anymore, it happened quite recently so it's still a struggle to deal with it, sadly. Other than that, it's finanicially just been tough for the last year or so, not really having a steady job doesn't help that fact either.

Maybe that's why I decided to blog again? It helps clear the mind, even if no one ends up reading these posts. Yeah, let's stick with that reason.

Wasted opportunities

Well, it certainly has been a long time since I posted. I won't have some all-in-one update or something like that. After all, no one wants to read those, right? Right.

I hope this time I can actually stick to blogging.

That's all for now, really. Just putting this as an incentive to write again soon. More to come! I promise this time. Cross my heart and all that.

Blackjack

21. The age of becoming an adult. I turned 21 last Tuesday, threw a party because I figured you're supposed to do that when coming of age. Or, well, at least on 'important' mile-stones in your life. And it was fun, don't get me wrong. But in hindsight, I guess the more practical side of me wanted to avoid the mess, throw-ups and save some money while at it, too.

Are you supposed to be a changed man, as an adult? Do you finally set into your own routine of daily and weekly things? After all, routine's important. Some people can't--won't function without coffee. A shower. Apple during lunch. Something specific to drink during dinner. Anything. Is this normal? Or just neurotic? I love my routines, and I'll be damned if I don't feel off for the day if they don't get done. Am I the only one?

What a long, strange trip it's been

Cataclysm is literally around the corner as I write this, about 18 more hours until launch. Now, whilst I admit I'm totally excited for that, it also makes me think. It's been 6 years since WoW came out. I know it's not THAT long, but I've done quite some things in my life during that time. Hell, I even moved countries twice during it all.

But really, sometimes I do feel old when I think in terms like that. Did you know Friends ended 6 years ago, as well? Or that Pokémon has been running for 12 years now? Things like that make me feel old, because it's so long ago that those shows, or things were part of my life. Time flies without you knowing, it really does. I mean, I'm about to hit 21, even though I often still feel like 16. It's easy to just shove responability aside and just have fun, but it's not so fun when it hits you like a brick wall when you think about it.

What have you done in the last 6 years? As for me? Well, I did some life-changing things in my life, at the time. But not something that's set my future in stone. Nothing really memorable, noteworthy or grand to set me apart from my peers. And the scary thing about it all? The trip isn't over yet.